i feel like i have this great capacity for love, but it's going to waste. all my relationships with men only go so far.

i get so hopeful when i first get to know a guy, and then resent him for not being everything i thought he would be, everything i want. just went out with jon. he's not an asshole, but he might as well be. it's funny almost. he's so not for me. no one ever is.

  posted by meg @ 2:10 AM

 
ok so coffee and chatting with joyce and jen at cafe artiste, and i'm like 8 million times happier. i've been so hung up with these boys that i forget how much fun i have with my friends. and how much do i love going to parties and having everyone so happy to see me, 'cause i hardly go out anymore? mmm. it all comes down to me being so lucky. problems in one area of my life, support from another.

AND he emailed me. :) i'm fixing this tomorrow. i love him too much to keep this up.

  posted by meg @ 1:25 AM

 
i hate this. and its my fault. i don't know what to do, i feel so awful, i'm being so ridiculous and i know it but i don't know how to act anymore, i can't just be normal. and i miss him so much already. i fucked up everything. i feel like i ruined one of the best friendships i've ever had. and for what??

  posted by meg @ 10:35 PM

 
ahhhhhh be still my foolish heart.

i'm absolutely giddy crazy happy right now.

!!!!!

  posted by meg @ 11:49 PM

 
last night i was so lost and confused and sad and tired. and i didn't know it but so was he. and just now he gave me a hug and said good things and made it better.

what more could a girl want?

  posted by meg @ 6:32 PM