it's tomorrow. the sun is up and i haven't slept at all and i still don't have anything figured out. i thought i knew what i wanted, and then out of nowhere comes this insane amazing wonderful thing. i wish i could see shawn, remember how i felt with him. i don't want to give up on him. but eddie's so fresh in my mind, right now i just want to go to LA.


  posted by meg @ 6:55 PM

 
just got another message from eddie. so sweet. he might come to austin on his way back to LA. actually it's out of his way, but he might come anyway. i'm kind of crazy giddy happy at the thought.

and i keep saying this is so bad, but with a big grin on my face. 'cause here i am worrying about shawn, what's gonna happen when we get back. and i know i can't control what happens, and i honestly think i can be happy either way, but for now, this middle ground just ain't workin so hot. like yeah he cares about me but oops he gives me nothing except basic friendship. which is great, i'm glad that he calls and lets me know whats up. but i need more than that. if we were together, it'd be no question of staying faithful, but as it is it's been so long since a boy told me i was beautiful, and sexy. i need sweetness, and affection. it's hard to hold out for this boy when he gives me so little to hold on to.

  posted by meg @ 1:53 AM