he's such a jerk. how could i be this stupid? he doesn't care about me at all. at least not in any real way. i hate him. i hate him and i hate that i've kept this up so long, pretending that what i thought i felt for him was enough for both of us, that he would come around.

i'm so stupid. and it's my fault. i did it to myself.

  posted by meg @ 11:11 PM

 
sometimes I want him like no other. other times I think I'm crazy for wanting him. mostly it's both.

this can't be good.

  posted by meg @ 1:52 PM

 
god i'm ansy.

sliced my thumb, can't practice, but it's EARLY i can't go to bed yet and i don't know what to do!

ahhhhhhh

ira is so sweet. he says all the things i've always wanted to hear. and he's jewish.

meanwhile, just talked to sandy and may possibly hopefully be moving off next semester. nuiko says living with evan is a bad idea. she has a point.

do you ever get this feeling like there's too much in your head and you just can't sit still but there's no where to go and you just want to run and jump around and around until you collapse into the grass, panting and happy and free?

but you don't. you sit there writing your history paper.

another silly longing left unfulfilled.

  posted by meg @ 11:00 PM

 
shawn is absolutely the sweetest thing ever.

sweet like honey.

but better.

  posted by meg @ 12:48 AM