so here's my day:

woke up, didn't go running, walked to school instead. practiced. went to class. practiced. went to lunch at wiess- woohoo! first time in a loooong time. back to shepherd, practice. music library, two HOURS of videos on haydn and mozart. mozart video showed casket being hauled by pallbearers. back to shepherd. cried. practiced. baker hall for lecture on women refugees. Cancelled!! grrrr.... back to shepherd, practice. nuiko brings me homemade granola, yum. talk to mommy :) walk to rmc with nuky, sign up for RSVP gardening (yay!). back to shepherd. wrestle nuiko (lose). wrestle shawn (lose even worse). practice. joyce calls, go to wiess to keep her company. me, joyce, and jenn, chatting.

and now its 2 am and i'm wide awake and happy. go figure.

  posted by meg @ 2:15 AM

 
i cherish my privacy. really. just not so much at night, in this big empty house, sandy long gone, leaving me only her dirty dishes in the sink and the garbage i keep meaning to take out.

last night i went to bed thinking, i am so alone. clutching my stuffed dog that elizabeth gave me under one arm and my pillow in the other. i have to hold onto something tight before i can fall asleep. was it always that way?

i do love living oc. i love walking through my neighborhood on warm days, when the nice rich people open their blinds to let in the sun and you can see little snippets of their lives. a dining room here, bookshelf there, red walls, blue walls, chandeliers, staircases. on the weekends, the kids riding bikes, walking dogs, and i think to myself, this is what i will do with my life, too. it all looks so perfect, from the outside at least. and that's what i am: an outsider.

but the rite of spring awaits...

  posted by meg @ 1:39 AM

 
what a sweet little saturday. just had a chill little evening with aisha, opting for chatting and coffee at brazils over casino night.

i'm so lucky. today victoria of all people said she was very sorry and if there was anything she could do to help, etc, and i was talking to gab about it too. i feel incredibly ok. it felt very natural, and i was so happy to be there and be able to help. and of course it's sad but i feel like i'm coming to terms with this, all of it. finding a balance between the depressed mopey bullshit of last semester and the crazy drunkeness of freshman year. it's about damn time.

  posted by meg @ 2:05 AM