i am red.

sunburned that is. went to galveston with judith on sunday, and baked in the sun. felt good at the time. but i have joyce to rub cream on my back, so its all good.

today was the best day. i woke up at 8, exactly one hour after my alarm was *supposed* to wake me up for the gym, and one hour before music history, where my prof Honey got SO excited about melismatic organum, and where i held my breath as she handed back the midterms, and damn near fell over when i got my grade. A. oh. my. god. i studied so hard for that test, and i wanted to do well so much, and i felt like all my hard work paid off.

so then on this super high i'm walking to french with judith, shawn and jory walking behind us. and then out of nowhere, shawn asks me if i wanna go to breakfast. no one else, not judith or jory, just me. and i was so shocked that i was just like oh, i have a class, like a DUMBASS. fuckin french. i guess its good, tho, i really don't want to skip any class this semester. but just the fact that he asked me. *sigh* classic.

so then i got back the french test that i seriously thought i failed. i got a B. and i took that test the same day as my theory midterm, which i'll get back on wednesday. yeah, so theory after french, by that time i was basically floating around campus. and i know its crazy to get excited about music theory, but i can't help it. i love it.

so THEN i had orchestra, so i practiced for a an hour before, and then went to rehearsal, and it went well. its so amazing, i love just being a part of that.

the rest of the day was basically more practice, lots of eating but mostly of healthy foods, and chillin at wiess. and now i'm waiting for my laundry to dry. so peace out!! 4 days til spring break.

  posted by meg @ 10:54 PM

 
ok so i made it through my week of hell. the french test kinda sucked (quel suprise!) but the theory midterm was fine, and that was really the more important of the two. and its all over. can't even believe it. i was absolutely giddy leaving shepherd, with this wonderful feeling of not having those horrible tests hanging over my head. oh so nice.

so i really should have taken a nap, but instead went to the galleria. kinda crazy. first of all, glanced into stores that i had only ever heard about: Cartier, Tiffanys, Versaci and the like, places where i single item is worth more than me. not really. but yeah, so i felt oddly aware of this insanity of shopping, and yet a part of it, inextricably so even. it really is insane, the way people rush about as if their purchases are of such great importance. and i guess i get just as carried away as the rest, but i try to see the humor of the situation, not take myself so seriously. but then, i dunno, at some point the whole thing becomes not so much funny as disturbing. the fact that people really don't see how trivial it is, that this is not what life is about, not at all, not even close. like in envi, my prof showed us these slides of developing countries, with their dirt roads and delapitated buildings and pitiful little markets. and here we all are in the fucking galleria, deliberating over the low rise or boot cut jeans. and this is normal.

meanwhile, while thinking all this i also wanted to buy the entire abercrombie store. i swear i'm schitzo. no but really, i do my school, harp, gym, yoga, shabbat, reading, all this stuff that makes my life full and interesting, AND i go shopping. so isn't that ok? well sheeit, i don't know.

  posted by meg @ 11:08 PM

 
i need to get over this. i don't know why i do this, let things get the better of me and let myself do STUPID things that i know i'll regret. like staying up all night when i have not one but two tests tomorrow. or having this mad binge fest after being so healthy all week. its just me, i guess, always with the extremes. i just need to get over this thing. its crazy, cause i'll think i'm over it, like be totally convinced even, and then something happens like tonight and it crushes. my. soul. alright, so excuse the melodrama, but seriously, its devastating. to have this person that you totally adore, and to not be able to tell them, and then to see them with someone else. thats the worst part, like hello, talk about adding insult to injury, jesus. it fuckin sux. so here i am at 3 in the morning with an almost empty box of cereal that was full an hour ago. frightening.

but anyhoo. other than this issue of unrequited love, this week has been hellish. i feel like i've been working nonstop since this weekend, and tomorrow its all over, but i couldn't quite hold out. oh well. gotta make the best of these things. get these damn tests over with, which will be oh so nice, and then i'll have the weekend and all of next week to practice and work on envi, and otherwise just to chill. and then spring break. meanwhile i'm super excited about planning this europe trip. so it ain't all bad.

  posted by meg @ 3:23 AM

 
i don't remember the last time i've been ready for bed before 2 am at school. so naturally, i can't just go to sleep. gotta blog. no but seriously, i'm soooo busy, in a good way, but still, i always want to write and never have time. but anyway.... not to be all like fake or retarded or whatever, but school is so great. like ok, french is still kind of a bitch, but i'm trying, and some days i even kinda like it. history is fine, and i actually got excited about music theory today. its good stuff. aural skills is fine, currently making arrangements for tutoring so i can make sure to get an A. i LOVE envi. and of course i adore paula and the harp. today, i dunno, it just felt like a shepherd day, so i stayed after theory and practiced from like noon to 2:30, and like mad, hard practice. and i sound GOOD. or at least i'm lovin playing, everything i'm working on, too. this scarlatti sonata, all of the hindemith, nino rota. getting ready for orch, too, sooo excited about shosty 5.

what else. did i mention how much i love the harp. yes. how 'bout joyce li? so sweet. its weird, too, cuz now that judith and i are such good friends, sometimes i don't see joyce and i forget how well we get along. both of us currently wallowing in despair over the guy selection, or lack thereof. for my part, i'm hopelessly in love, but this whole unrequited love thing is kinda beginning to work for me, so its all good. and fuck it, i'm gonna have a nice valentine's day, even if i am sexiled. i'm thinking double stuff oreos, chocolate covered strawberries, maybe a little white wine (thanks belle), and then... oh yeah, PUB!!! good times.

alrighty, so bed time for meggie boo, and not even 1:00. gym tomorrow, and a lesson. can't hardly wait. :)

  posted by meg @ 12:23 AM